Dream -

Last night..

I had a dream , we were in this bus, driving on a road.. not sure where we were , where we were coming from , or where we were going.. but we drove over this lady... didn't flatten or kill her, but she was curled over in the middle of the road, and the bud road over her.. after , we looked back, and she rolled over into the grass, still alive, but just trying to get out of the middle of the road. She reminds me of how the woman with the issue of blood. My heart cried out for her, yet we didn't stop the car. I was hurriedly trying to record the street signs so I could come back to check on the woman, after we (on the bus) reached our destination...

My question i s, why didn't we stop right then and there? What could have possibly been so important, that none of the believer's on the bus, spoke up for us to stop and care for the broken woman in the road? Why didn't I speak up? But was so ready to go back on my own.

Perhaps I didn't want to bother others on the bus to stop to Love.. it's wasn't on the agenda.. But Love should be the agenda.. right?

Day 89

So Yesterday..

I CRASHED...

not only could i not get up.. I didn't want to. When I called my boss, I called out because I was sick, and I literally felt sick... My body was like..no more.. just rest.. just rest..

This is the lesson I feel the Lord has been trying to teach me all along. This might sound crazy, it almost seems that "rest" , I'm in a "Season of rest" , the Lord is saying "rest" ,has been a common thread amongst my Community over this past year. But I can honestly say, that this IS the word.

What I love about my Daddy, is that He always knows EXACTLY what I, Ashley Haley , needs to get it.. to HEAR Him, to understand.. like,, yesterday I crashed.. I had to get to the end of myself, in order to simply REST. In order to do that, I had to shut down everything.. my part I had to TRUST that everything that NEEDED to be done would get done, and spend alone time, literally resting in His sovereignty.

His arms, are the strongest arms I've ever felt. The Strongest arms, I've ever leaned on.. And what I love even more, Is how He's Always there, His unfailing Love.

Lately, I've felt pretty disappointed in myself, in regards to how I'm practicing the disciplines, as well as some physical disciplines. I haven't eaten tomatoes in a week.. perhaps this seems like something simple, but for me.. it's huge, and important. But I've found some FREEDOMS all at the same time. I believe what I am experiencing , is the FREEDOM in Christ. The RELIGIOUS Spirit, is not one that is of God. IT may APPEAR to be, but it really isn't. it's a counterfeit, and the Lord is exposing it within me. And He's given me Freedom in some of the most unorthodox ways, but I appreciate it.

In the Spirit, I can feel alot of things all up in my face, all over the place. My prayer is Lord, I want to HEAR you CLEARLY, I don't want to jump to conclusions, I want to just Trust you... and to know it's you that I'm following. I DON'T KNOW, what's next, But I want to lean on your guiding. Every open door, isn't the one I'm supposed to walk through, please make it plain!

Secondly, something that has been kind of annoying has been everyones opinions. I hear from the Lord, My friends do as well. I believe the Lord will govern us all, as we surrender to Him. What works for one, doesn't work for all. Please just trust that I hear Him too.. Thank you..

I love you Lord.

Thank you for Loving me First...

Goodnight.