i want to write a poem

I sit

and I wait in this silence.

Seemingly

only these three walls and the door behind me

can see me,

they find me,

right here waiting for you.

While I neglect our time far too often,

I fear, for as of late

the gaps

between the long stares

and visions have become longer,

and much further apart than I remember...

I can't hear,

it's getting blurry.

You'd think i'd wander

back to you..

But it's almost like my skin is attacking you ,

daring you to come close to me

"ah uh uh, don't you do it.."

You know , I REALLY hate my skin.

Every mark and scar it records

then shoves it back in my face.

so many things out of place

who could look at me,

and truly love what they see?

I'm out of shape...

I continually over eat

but I'm still hungry,

for affection from you.

Do you like me better when

I'm skinny?

if I'm honest,

that actually would make sense,

we seemed to chat a lot more in those days..

and right when I begin to believe this,

you remind me with the kisses of your lips..

Truth is..

You're so into me

you're always listening

you hear my heart cry,

you gaze into my eyes

Now, I'm enchanted

Love beyond romantic

drop the semantics..

this love took life

the blood washed kind

timely spared mine

this man actually died..

And I have the nerve to question Him..

But He Loves me,

and He always answers them..

Truth always conquers the lies.

sometimes I need to be reminded..