Simple OBEDIENCE

This word has been ringing in my Spirit.. OBEDIENCE

Yesterday, my friend's Joel and Vanessa asked me a question.. " what am I looking forward to this year".. and my answer was slightly vague, but honest. I'm looking forward to the fruit of OBEDIENCE. Like, over and Over..God has showed me how His ways are higher than our, His thoughts and His plan. I'm tried of failing in this area.. and His word says that His grace is sufficient.. I NEED Him, and He is there when I call. in my 27th year, my AIM is OBEDIENCE.

No more excuses..

He's been using a grasshopper to help me.. He knows what we need!



I've actually been seeing, grasshoppers in the physical..sent to disturb my conscious from reasoning and talking myself out of being OBEDIENT> I love it! The natural is so subject to the spiritual, and God uses it all to speak to his children. He gives good gifts to his children.

Simple compromises can no longer be apart of my vocabulary..

UNPLUGGED

So apparently there is a book out..that talks about this..and perhaps..while I'm unplugged I will embark on the journey of reading it..but.. I think I'm going to try it..

1 day a week..
no phone
no computer
no tv
no ipod
no dot.com's

in case of emergency, ahhh.. I believe in grace that there be none on these days :) how u like them apples! lol


Genesis 2: 1-3

1 Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.

2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. 3 Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.


There is something about the Sabbath man.. how do you keep it holy?

A Drink of Water

Last night, there was a bang on the metal screen door. Which is pretty normal, for our quaint tourquoise church house on wilkens ave. Every monday we have Prayer, and tonight.. things were moving pretty slow. We actually had decided to change locations, bc of the heat, then we prayed about it and the Lord told us to stay put. It had even cooled off, so it wasn't that bad at all.. But here were are.. and all of the sudden Steve knocks on the door. Asking for a drink of cold water.

So we invite him in, and invited him to join us for prayer..and he says, " i don't want to be disrespectful" I don't believe any of of this stuff... and in that moment, I heard God speak . This is his night. So we listened and shared and listened and shared ... We shared testimonies and encouraged each other.

Steve Accepted Christ last night...God Gave Him Living water

felt like something straight out of the scriptures..

JOhn 4:
7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.[a])
10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”
13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

Fill Me Up God

You provide the Fire
and I'll provide the sacrifice
You provide the Spirit
and I will open up inside
Fill me up God
Fill me up God
Fill me up God
Fill me up God
Fill me up God
Fill me up God

Love of God
Overflow
permeate
all my soul



This is my prayer today..
Fill me up God..

I NEED God.. so much..
I'm reminded of how weak and fragile I am.. I'm reminded, of all of my failings, even on my best day.. How I'm un able to stand, i do the things I don't want to do,and the things i want to do, i do not do.. over and over and over.. then he reminds me.. He's m redeemer.. not me. but Christ in me.. He knew what he was getting into, when he chose me. and He still likes me :)

Have a blessed day, and even inf you feel like a failure, know that God ois not finished with you,and He chooses us, simply bc it's HIs choice..not out of our own righteousness..



He lives..

HEARTBROKEN - I'm a glutten

I'm sooo Saaaaaaad this morning.

In the news I'm reading about how, at present there are people in Somolia .. experiencing a FAMINE..they officially declared that in two regions there is active famine and they expect within the next two months for it to spread across the country.

Phillipians 3:19
Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.

I'm sitting at my desk with a stomach ache, bc of a recent BENGE.. My struggle in flesh, is GLUTTONY??? really? And there are people I'v emet, while in haiti, tht can't put food on the table. Shoot, on't even have a table for that matte rto put food one. Or in Zambia, I just visited , is considered one of the 10 most malnourished countries in teh world? Really?

I feel like my heart i sso far from the Father's right now.. so broken..so far removed.

i'm tired of being apathetic.. I'm tired of my heart not breaking fo rthe things that break his, and it manifesting in my flesh. I'm tired of not beign disciplined. I'm tired of being so dog-on selfish. Help me Lord to be abetter steewart of my resources. Help me Lord, to feed the poor, and not take more thna i need of ANYTHING.. Put my flesh under submission to your Wil.. Help me become a good example of a christian.

My heart WEEPS.

Abba help me to conquer this battle. Help me to come into alignment with your will.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

John 6:48-51

I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world.

I desire to feast on you alone..

EPHIPANY - I want to go to Somalia..

Day 1

Daniel 1:17-20
17 To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.

18 At the end of the time set by the king to bring them into his service, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. 19 The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king’s service. 20 In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom.

TEARS

So yesterday....

was a day filled with tears and lacking answers. I believe god is doing somethign in my heart. People looked at me, and asked if I was okay, if I was feeling down,and I had no words. no answer as to why the tears kept flowing from my face. And it felt different in the various places I went, yet still more tears.

I woke up in the morning, and i didn't know where I was going, but I knew I had to go. So I got dressed, walked out of the house and got in the car. I Ended up At Chanali's Church. Not sure why I was there, but when I saw her, I gave her a hug and tears began to flow. so weird..and throughout the service , tears. The pastor preached on Daniel chapter 1, and the verse confirmed something I heard a few months back but didn't want to embrace. Well, now I have. 3 years.

I left Chan's around 1 so I could go to van outreach, and as I drove past my old church, something said stop and go inside. So i went in to find, some of my kids, Bilal , Derrel, Kevin, Maliq, some of the saints, and alot of LOVE.

I proceeded to go to the Rivendell (mission house) and i found members of my church, sitting in the living room. " Hi sis Ashley " says Tom. then Norm and Richy Greeted me as well.. I then begin Blinking to hold back the tears. Jeanne came in with a few interns, and joy! It was so good.

We get on the van, and jump out greet and pray with several, fo ra while i felt liek i was just there, but i continued to pray for God to move and have his way, claiming the territory as we drove.

Then Tom says, hey Ashley , let's go talk to these two over here.

That's when I met Mindy.

There's Something about Mindy..
She looked soo tired. So tired of trying to do this thing on her own, and in her own strength. She needed to ehar the truth. That she can't. And that she's beautiufl and God is not dissapointed in her. He wants her brokenness, just like he wants mine. When we are weak He is made strong.

I told Mindy I'd be waiting for her between 6 - 8 AM at the house, if she wanted to call.

At 6:30 AM the phone rings. She's calling me, saying her mother is dropping her off,and she's so excited!
Glory to the Lamb!

Let's Keep Mindy in prayer, that the birds don't try to eat the seed. Hope to update on her soon.

Keep the tears coming Lord. Do what you do.

While I don't know exactly why, I feel like it was Him. Not my will but your's be done..

Un-plugged

The past two days, i have been Un-Plugged...

Best feeling ever.

Day 1 -He want's it ALL

Haiti..

was alot, just so much, still processing..

God is FAITHFUL.

Today is Day 1.. of the rest of my life :) no turning back.. no more FEAR.. no more SABOTAGE, NO more FAILURE... I want to Anoint His feet with Precious Oil, I want to choose the better thing.. Lord Teach me how to worship you like that, with my EVERYTHING .. With my Life..

Reflections from Haiti will be posted soon..

Blessing.. and please Pray for me.

The Truth WILL set you FREE

So last night at Bible Study, we had a really great discussion. Initially I was like, Hmm I wonder where this conversation was going.. Oh How I love the organic ,free flowing , movement of God when believer's come together to worship Him with their minds, and sharpening each other in the Word. WE started the conversation discussing Spiritual Warefare..as we've seen an increase in demonic activity, attacks, even paranormal at times (recently) there are 4 things. to remember. almost like Spiritual Warefare 101>

Spiritual Warefare 101

1) The Name of Jesus
Demon's can't say the name of Jesus. The bible says, that Demons tremble at the Name of Jesus, Demons also FLEE.. but if you encounter a lying spirit, then sometimes it can say " Jesus is Lord" but then you may need to be specific..say " jesus Christ of NAzareth is Lord" . pretty full proof..

2) Plea the Blood of Jesus..
the demon knows that they were defeated at teh cross, when we plea the blood of Jesus we retake the authority.. reminding the enemy that they have know power, and out of what power we speak.. and demand authority.

3) The WORD o GOd... the Sword of the SPiri t is the Word of God.. so important to have word stored up in you , so that in Spiritual Battles just a Jesus did when he was being tempted by the enemy, He fought him with the word of God.

4) Love..

From experience we've found that unforgiveness... gives the enemy permission to latch onto you.. and it's at the point of TRUTH , confession and forgiveness.. when we see deliverance take place..

I've found, that the right answer as a christian is not always the honest answer. and I believe, especially when reaching out to the Lord, ..we need to be Honest.. God says I want your broken and contrite hear.. When we are honest we can say , God, I'm broken and I need you.. apply the blood to this.. almost like we give Him something to work with. . we hand him something to fix, when we are honest and acknowledge we are broken. IF we always give the rigth answer, then we are never dealing with reality, and that means no true real healing can tak eplace, bc the healthy don't need a doctor..right. ?

Remember

Remember the cross...

Romans 12:1-2

we had our kids memorize this verse as it was the theme scripture for our youth group two years back... Today while meeting with the girls, it came up again. And we went through each part and explained what it meant... later in a conversation, so quickly i forgot all of what i had explained to the young ladies.. thought of, "perhaps i've taken the wrong road" or maybe " if i had more money, i'd be more effective' , why does the call have to be so hard" sometimes i just want to settle for the glittery things.. but the end result of this pondering, lead to a life not fulfilling, bc it was passionless. so what's the point. What's the point of the mission work, why are we going around and trying to love.. what's the motivation? then we come back to this verse.. Finally I urge you brothers, in VIEW OF GOD"S MERCY... to present your bodies as living sacrifices. like, that's it.. IN VIW OF GOD"S MERCY, with His sacrifice in mind, remembering the cross... WE give up our lives..

tonight in prayer we sang the song.. " I'll never know, how much it cost,to see my sends up on that cross...here I am to worship" .. but really , really think of it.. WE'll really NEVER know...

the cross we bare is so much less than the cross He took for us..and yet I find my self despising the sacrifice, I'm called to. TO be set apart, and example.. salt and light in the earth... But if we can just remember the cross. I pray that picture be etched in my mind and heart..that I NEVER forget the cross... thoughts of Laziness and mundane can't co-exist with the remembrance of the cross. i can't afford to be lazy.. it cost too much.

1st video Vlog - No Turning Back

Please Support this Mission!

Hello Family!

It’s me again, I’m writing to give you an update on how the Lord is moving in and through my life. It’s just so much! For those who supported my trip to Haiti back in July, know that it was definitely a life changing experience. While there the Lord confirmed my call to global missions. There is so much to be done and the time is now for us to love our neighbors and Go making disciples of all nations.

I am excited and honored to be headed back to Gonaives, Haiti this March 10-22 nd. This trip I was invited to join three other missionaries, and we will be working with the children, ministering, as well as surveying and planning for the next large group trip we take with the Beyond all Boundaries team. I believe the Lord has a plan that he is going to reveal while we are
on that land. We would like to send additional funds for the churches in Gonaives that have been hit with Cholera and major flooding, so if you feel led to support this cause please click the Paypal link on the top right of this blog titled "donate"



Everyday life in Haiti requires mountain-moving faith. To spend time in fellowship and ministry with the Church there is to see faith in action, unspeakable joy, and true peace despite the desperate circumstances. They literally live by the bread of life, the Word of God and they offered God praise and worship that sprung from the depths of their souls.

I returned from Haiti in July of 2010 intently seeking the Lord’s will about my next steps and His vision for my global missions work. What does that mean Lord? Where am I to go? What am I supposed to share and do when I get there? Then Zambia dropped into my Spirit. I was like, Zambia? Really? Why Zambia? Then I got one word “faith.” So I’m supposed to go to Zambia for my faith. Faith: the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Up until a few weeks ago, I couldn’t see any movement towards the fruition of this trip. Then the Lord opened the door and I’ve got to walk through it! I will be serving With Rev. Oscar & Rev. Mailes Ndao who provides leadership for over 365 churches in Zambia, April 17- May 6th.

The goal of this trip is to simply walk with these anointed indigenous missionaries as they passionately propel the gospel message forward. We don’t automatically think of Zambia as a place in need, however it is. They too are often touched with Cholera, but the biggest issue there is flooding and drought. The needs are many. Imagine 60% of the population lives on less than a dollar a day. The unemployment rate is also high. The important thing I was asked to pray for was the youth. Many young people, because of poverty, have engaged in activities opening themselves to all kinds of abuse. They are getting infected with HIV/ AIDS, drug abuse, alcohol and many other vices. With this in mind, and my work as a youth worker in the church the past 5 years, I have also been asked to lead a youth workers conference during the 21 days of my stay. For this conference I need to raise $3,950 dollars to help bring the youth leaders to Lusaka from the nine provinces of the country. Also, other needs would be transportation for doing ministry in the area, which would preferably be bicycles. A bicycle in Zambia cost $ 110 dollars. My ticket will be approximately $1,700. The other needs for the churches are bibles in local languages. The cost for a bible is $15. The Zambian church has been growing like wild fire, and their resources are extremely limited or non-existent. When I look at the number’s I myself begin to get a little overwhelmed. But God, Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, is able. So yes, I am trying to raise a total of $7,350 including the 5 bikes and100 bibles that I would like to sow into the ministry, in a month! Yikes! Philippians 4:13… “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.”

However I can’t do this alone, and again, I need your help. Please pray ask the Lord how you are to support this mission of Faith & Love. If you have read this letter I am asking you to please embark on this journey with me through prayer (most importantly) also pray about how you might support me financially or spread the word if you know someone else who can participate with us. Your prayers and contribution of any amount will be greatly appreciated.

If I am able to raise more support than I need, it will go towards blessing our ministry partners, more bibles and supplies for the church in Zambia. Your gifts may be sent and written out to me directly “Ashley Haley” or you can contribute via Paypal click the link in the body of this e-mail. Matthew 19: 26 “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Thank You in Advance for your prayers and support! Feel free to message me. if you have any questions.

Please click the DONATE Tab or e-mail if you'd like to support this mission financially and need to mail something :)
Ashley Haley
E-Mail: Ahaley48@yahoo.com
Paypal Link: http://justbeloveashley.blogspot.com/p/donate.html

Sick and Tired

I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired,

more than just an old cliche from the voice of my 80 year church mother,

It's the address of the place were I currently reside, and I hate it here.

How many times, does it take ?

For me to fall in the same ditch, that has stayed in the same place.

Tired of leaning on grace, but I'm forever grateful for it.

I don't want this to be continued...

Spirit of Sabotage

This is something I've been dealing with, in regards to food. I ran across this posting from SFJ blog site, and it was helpful.

Spirit of Sabotage

This is a serious Spirit that through prayer and revelation I believe attacked the group strongly in the first part of the Fast. Some even have aborted/are aborting the divine plans of the Lord has for them by falling victim to this Spirit. I want to bring this thing into the Light so that we can be in complete Freedom in our walk following Jesus.

"The Spirit of Sabotage operates as a strong demonic influence that drive people to abort the progress and success of divinely ordained projects, purposes relationships, organization, self, potential, and destinies. It stirs up jealously, resentment, and suspicion, and is often vindictive towards the person who detects its presence. Sabotage can make you both victim and perpetrator so that even when you pronounce judgment on others you both expose and pronounce judgment upon yourself. This spirit is so skillful it will use you as a pawn and a puppet on a string, prohibiting you from detecting its hand upon you and the strings that manipulate you. Working with familiar spirits, who act as their reconnaissance, informing them of breaks in hedges of protection, strengths, weaknesses, and proclivities of both the perpetrator and victim, its plan is a well-thought-out plan. I have discovered that many agents used are not only those with malicious intent, but also those who sincerely love us and want what's best for us. Consider the incident Matthew records In Matthew 16:21-23, where Peter unwittingly was being used in an attempt to sabotage the mission of Jesus. Jesus decisively identified the spirit controlling Peter's thoughts and immediately aborted its activities. Remember as you examine the activities of this spirit that you will discover that you are both victim and perpetrator. When the Lord gives you victory over this spirit, you will notice that a veil will be lifted, and scales of deception will fall from your spiritual eyes. Everything that you thought was real will crumble before you and evaporates like a mirage. Truth will prevail and set you free from anything built upon fabrications, lies, falsehood, and untruths."

Trimm, Cindy. The Rules of Engagement: Binding the Strongman. Volume 2. page 245-246

PASSIONATE or PASSIONLESS??

So.. Lately I've noticed this NERVOUSNESS> manifesting through my actions, fidgety behavior and lack of eye contact. I've noticed this behavior (once it was brought up) primarily when i would discuss the future, or the things that Lord is doing, or calling for me to do. On Monday , it was revealed how it was a product of FEAR.

FEAR..

I'm sooooo sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired of Dealing with Fear! like really.. every time I feel like I've gotten some Freedom, or a release of boldness, or confidence in Christ versus my Flesh.. it comes back. I'm tires of having to RE-Conquer things.. like this is really getting old.

So the other night , I was talking to a friend and they asked me what it was that I was afraid of. I don't know! One conclusion I came to is, that I feel "unsure" .. but not really. Like, I think it's a sabotage tactic, or an attempt to not deal with reality. I'd speak of things the Lord has told me to do, with uncertainty, bc if i totally embraced it, that would mean I'd actually have to do it. Why is it so easy to really on others for confirmation, when we truly believe the Lord speaks. no more.

Another thing that came out , was feeligs of being left out, becasue I've ALWAYS been different. My life has been unique, and there is confidence in agreement for me. So when I'm to do something ALONE, it's like.. well wait.. idk, and fear creeps in. Have I ever done ANYTHING alone? I'm 26 years old, I live at home.. I've never had to rock the boat or really shake things up, on my own.. perhaps now is the time.

I was also asked this question.

Are you PASSIONATE? or is it that you WANT to be Passionate..

When I think about the different areas of my life.. my art.. I like it.. never been very passionate. In college I would try to do what others did, to replicate or produce work like them..but the truth was, I was never really Passionate about it. I could do it, and do it well , a skill.. but never my passion.

So OAm I just not a PASSIONATE person?..

I know i WANT to be Passionate, that happens to be a trait that I'm attracted to, and I hope to acquire..it's a GOOD thing right?

What I've found is, the one thing that I am passionate about it Loving God, Being Love, seeing the Gospel preached, and lost people come to JESUS, and grow in Him.. TO KNOW Him.. :) I'm passionate about that. I'll lose sleep over it, I'll sacrifice for it. But that's like, just about it. AND THAT IS OKAY!!!!! :)

i want to write a poem

I sit

and I wait in this silence.

Seemingly

only these three walls and the door behind me

can see me,

they find me,

right here waiting for you.

While I neglect our time far too often,

I fear, for as of late

the gaps

between the long stares

and visions have become longer,

and much further apart than I remember...

I can't hear,

it's getting blurry.

You'd think i'd wander

back to you..

But it's almost like my skin is attacking you ,

daring you to come close to me

"ah uh uh, don't you do it.."

You know , I REALLY hate my skin.

Every mark and scar it records

then shoves it back in my face.

so many things out of place

who could look at me,

and truly love what they see?

I'm out of shape...

I continually over eat

but I'm still hungry,

for affection from you.

Do you like me better when

I'm skinny?

if I'm honest,

that actually would make sense,

we seemed to chat a lot more in those days..

and right when I begin to believe this,

you remind me with the kisses of your lips..

Truth is..

You're so into me

you're always listening

you hear my heart cry,

you gaze into my eyes

Now, I'm enchanted

Love beyond romantic

drop the semantics..

this love took life

the blood washed kind

timely spared mine

this man actually died..

And I have the nerve to question Him..

But He Loves me,

and He always answers them..

Truth always conquers the lies.

sometimes I need to be reminded..

Dream - January 1

So I was asked to speak a this "house church" , it felt like it was in my basement... but like in my old basement before it was finished. And all of these people were there from my childhood church etc. Sis Doris, Uncle G, some other people I recognized, and of course Chan, and Josh, my sisters. So I found out I was to speak about a week before, and I was praying and asking the word for a word to share. And He gave me 1 word, and that's it. And I don't remember what the word was. So, when it was time for me to go up... I shared it. And everyone just looked at me like, that's it? And afterward, no body was like, good job, or anything. but I was unapologetic bc that's the word the Lord had given me. yah know... ?

later in the dream, I was with some kids.. teaching, but realized I wasn't supposed to be in the building I was in. And someone said, (I think it was Chan) Ashley it's okay, it doesn't mater what building we are in. This one lady was so glad we were reaching her nephew, i think his name was kevin, that she went out and brought us all of this jamaican food to eat after our meeting. lol so random...

the other part of the dream was just silly, upstairs, Joshua was changing clothes..into like the wiz outfits real shiny.. and flashy, and he was like , "take a picture" then i would go to take it, and be too slow, so he'd change into another crazy out fit.. etc etc. then one time, he and Chan, changed into like these outfits..but this time, they opened the door and all these other girls were there too posing.. and I was like whoaaa where did they come from? it tried to take a picture but the girls weren't in the picture. I thought to myself , were they angels or something? (I've been wanting to see angles) then they disappeared, and Chan and Joshua fell asleep on the floor in the other room, when I went downstairs.

So then I woke up...

by Chanali calling me, inviting me to play monopoly!!! lol

But she shared something she was reading last night.. Acts 10,

how the men came from Cornellius to Peter, and said, the Lord said you have a word for us (ashley paraphrase) and without hesitation He began to share the Gospel! That's the WORD.. the 1 Word.. so good!

And I think the revelation, about my concerns about the building.. etc. WE are the CHURCH , We are the Body.. We are His hands and Feet.. Buildings don't matter, we should NOT be concerned about them.. He Provides..