Day 19

This Word really helped me today! Thanks Lord..

John 15: 1-2

1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

I am in a season of Pruning, (it's CUTTING with a sharp object) and it hurts! like I didn't realize how much of my life was intertwined, and I couldn't see.. even before , I believe the Lord has told me it was time to be pruned. Thank God for His grace, sometimes I am disobedient, because I don't understand why... Like I couldn't comprehend it. How can something that is bearing such good visible fruit need to be cut... ?? it's good right? What I found, that there were some places that were overgrown, and out of order. So the Lord is now pruning my branches.. even though they were already bearing fruit.. just look at His word.. this is how it's supposed to work.

Today, I encountered a decision that had to be made, which resulted in many tears... but God. He even showed me, how he had arranged thing ahead of time... to be accomplished even before my plans were changed. But it's like, Ashley, when are you going to get it?.. it's REALLY not about Your plans baby..

Tonight during prayer, I could literally feel the Lord circumcising my heart.. and I weeped.. I weeped for the nation, for the city, for my lost family and friends, for the condition of the church, for the reality of the things going on around them, that I'm normally numb to. Like thank you Lord, I'm tired of having a hard heart so often. It's time for the walls to be rebuilt...it's time for the gates to be fixed. NO MORE forsaking the Lord, no more digging of my own cisterns. (Jer 2:13)

Then, not to mention..

I'm a cryer, "a weeper" as Tifany would say. I's time to be skillful in the crying.. (Jer 9:17) some situations need wailing women. the condition of the city, needs us.

So no more, not being able to feel.. I desire truly for a broken heart.. I want sooo much to be able to FEEL all the time. And yet be strong, yah know? Lord, birth a love motivation behind everything I do. Teach me how to pray.. In Jesus Name.. Amen

-Goodnight